Shimmy Chamois Shake

Biking is good for the brain, and not bad for the ass either – unknown

After my last post I spent a little bit looking up tips on what to look for for biking shorts.  Seams, padding, wicking, tight or baggy, the options seemed endless.  So I made cost my essential priority.  Cheapest pair I saw was $40 on the internet, but I didn’t want to buy a pair of these off the internet without ever actually trying any on, so off to the store.  Granted, I really just wanted a pair to wear on my next ride so I wouldn’t be so bruised or chafed, and I wasn’t really being picky with what I got as long as they fit and worked.  So I found a tight pair for $50, and tried them on.  If there are any guys reading this who wear these, let me tell you that you now know how your lady feels when wearing Kotex.  Yeah, ladies, just like that.  Kind of weird and bulky, but not as swishy as a pad can become. However I could only imagine how they might cushion my rump incredibly well from the bumps and bruising. The thought made me happy.

The pair I tired on did fit well, so I took them up to the register. The guy at the register then asks me if I need any butter to go with these.  Uh, what? Butter? He tells me it was a personal lubricant.  Wait, what?  It was one of those moments when I wish I hadn’t been completely clueless as it became a smidge awkward for the guy to explain to me about Chamois Butt’r.  What is it?  It’s lubricant to be rubbed on tender places that might chafe while cycling.  Ah, OK, now I understand.  I wasn’t about to ask if you rubbed it on the chamois pad of your shorts or directly on you etc, I figured I’d just Google that later too.  However, I chose to decline the butt’r and to try just the shorts out first.

Sunday I went out for a quick ride, a short 8 miles, to just get into my new shorts and see how they felt. I loved how they felt on my legs and butt, just tight and compressing enough to keep my thighs from jiggling.  I’ll admit it, they feel a bit sleek and sexy when I wear them.  I love it.  However, putting them on with the intention of going out in public with these tight shorts clinging to my ass  was a little daunting.  Yes, Freddie Mercury may have said, “Fat bottomed girls make the rocket world go round!”  but I wasn’t sure how many may share that opinion.  So for a bit of modesty, I threw on a pair of loose mesh shorts.  It’s OK, I still feel amazing in the shorts, and I’ll get to the point of not caring about my ass size….well, actually does any girl ever get to that point?

My ride was great with my bum all nice and cushioned.  I barely registered feeling any different, as though the pad wasn’t there, except for the lack of a bruising feeling which was very nice.  I went out riding in the evening and ended up eating a lot of little gnats, but I guess I needed the protein.  🙂  Overall, I’m thrilled with my new shorts and the riding.  I just wish I could get in more rides every week than I am getting. Just more things to work on.  Happy trails to you!

 

photo credit: Kurt Thomas Hunt via photopin cc

photo credit: Kurt Thomas Hunt via photopin cc

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