Regaining Balance

 I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.  ~Jennifer Yane

Since the beginning of June when I had my car wreck, I’ve felt like a ping pong ball being hit in a variety of directions and getting dented along the way.  I’ve been so out of balance that I’m surprised I even am aware of where I am most of the time.  All the chaos and internal psyche demolition has taken its toll.  Getting back from a month of living away from my home due to dog sitting, I sort of fell apart in a heap.  I simply felt like I was detoxing my energy and trying to realign with myself again.  I think it was then I realized how far off balance I had become.  After another small break down over the realization, a small panic attack because I suddenly couldn’t find an answer for myself, I had a nice chat with my shaman friend and was told to take it day by day, focus on the here and now.  Oh yeah, that, yeah, I should have seen that for myself, but my mind wasn’t working correctly.

So last week I started waking up early around 6:30 every morning and taking my dog out for a 4 mile walk out of my neighborhood.  It’s a peaceful walk on the sidewalk.  There is something about the air in the morning that feels more refreshing and calming to my lungs and mind.  So despite the traffic on the main road, I still obtain some peaceful zen.  After every walk, I stretch for 20 minutes then I treat myself to a cool down smoothie of watermelon, strawberries, and fresh mint.  It all makes me feel so calm and exhilarated at the same time!  I love it.

Yes, there have been some mornings when the alarm goes off and I just want to roll over.  Yet, by the third time I’ve hit snooze, I find myself getting up and getting dressed, ready to face the morning with my very happy dog.  The other morning I found myself walking in the pouring rain for an hour and I wondered to myself if it was insanity for me to be out in cold pouring rain or if it was determination. Maybe a bit a both, yet that rain felt great  and I was playing in puddles by the end of my stroll.

Along with my walking, I’ve decided to get back to eating better, back to my anti-inflammatory diet.  So I’ve been eating good things that I’ve made, like chicken and bean burritos, salads,scrambled eggs, and lots of tasty sweet fruit.  I’ve been drinking tons of water too, and my skin is so grateful for it.  It surprised me how quickly the dark circles under my eyes dissipated after drinking water all day.  As for my tea, well, iced jasmine green tea  with orange slices in it created the perfect sweet flavor for a dinner drink.  I must be doing something right because the other day I was starving and decided to eat a cookie and found myself not wanting it simply due to my body saying no.  Instead I was suddenly craving hummus, which I did not have at that moment.  😦

It has all become habit to me now, or mostly.  I still have to motivate myself some mornings, telling myself how much I’ll hate myself if I don’t walk, how my dog will be sad if we don’t walk, and how I won’t enjoy my tasty watermelon smoothie if I don’t walk.  Then I remind myself about the 2 months I couldn’t walk due to  my broken leg and how I shouldn’t take walking for granted.  And I still have to motivate my eating since I know I’ll feel physically sick if I don’t eat right.  So far, though, I’m doing ok and I’m proud of it.

After detoxing my mind with walking and my body with better food, I’m feeling much more balanced and aligned with my universe.  I’m not perfectly there yet, but there is more clarity.  I don’t feel unstable or like I’m about to break down into a heap again.  As long as I keep this determination and taking it one day at a time, I think I will get my course back on schedule.





2 responses to “Regaining Balance

  1. Sometimes we need to hear the obvious from someone else to realize just how out of sorts we are. Glad to see you’re getting yourself back into good habits.

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